F U VERY MUCH

If I pretended enough that you never existed, then I hope I’ll soon believe it enough, because the way I loved you with all of my heart and the way you simply kicked me to the curb was a great loss in my life. To know that you are still breathing out there somewhere is such a terrible curse. I pretend you are dead, I pretend you are fiction, I pretend you are every ghost hiding under every bed I sleep in. I don’t know which will make me feel any better, but in my head, you don’t deserve to live.

So give me this. Don’t ever come back. If you see me in a crowd, you blend. If you are walking in my direction, you turn away. If we are in the same room, you disappear. This is the most ridiculous thing you've ever read, but it’s better than forgiveness.

You said you never planned this. You said you never meant to break my heart. You said you are sorry things turned out this way. You said it’s for the best. Go ahead, why don’t you try and taste all the poison coming out of your mouth? The truth is not something you stretch for your better convenience, hon. The lack of urgency to which you hurdle me with words that will save me is a horrible crime. You waited eight months, asshole. 

The fuck with your life.