"I want to be unfinished, I like myself this way
I like the sound of my voice speaking from a lopsided heart"
-Zayra Yves, poet (Crowned Compassion)
As you know, I am attracted to all things weird and unusual and tragic and dramatic that it hurts just to think about it. I may be quite the obsessive-compulsive freak of nature, but I am never the one to struggle for perfection.
I like the brokenness, the faultiness of a person and even things. I like embracing the flaws, the scars, the trembling voice, the awkwardness of talking to people. Because it's not easy to talk to people.
I like how my family thinks differently on my type of music, but they always make me feel safe and they always make me laugh, so everything is forgiven.
I like how we learn confidence and poise, but at the end of the day we really are just small and vulnerable people who snore, wet our beds and have nightmares.
I like how Kristen Stewart is so awkward, how Steve Jobs was so weird, how John and Yoko were always annoyingly together and how Mark Zuckerberg (I had to Google his last name) doesn't look like he's a billion dollars. It just shows that not everything can be work-shopped, or stereotyped, or controlled.
The world is a messed up, beautiful place as we know it. I hope that in this brand new year, you'll learn to embrace your faults, forgive yourself, try a new hobby and see things in a beautiful light.
Here's to a colorful, lopsided year ahead! I hope that until the end of your life, you will always be unfinished, which means that you will never stop living, never stop dreaming, never stop hoping.
P.S. The photo above is one of the very first shots I took with my Diana F+. My 1st roll of film turned out all black, by the way. For my 2nd roll, I bought and used an ordinary roll of 35mm film and manually maneuvered it to the 120mm film camera using this tutorial. The results were all gory and, at first, disappointing, but I had so much fun shooting spontaneous shots with my family, friends and random scenery that I forgave whatever I lacked in effort and skill and hoped to get it right, if not, almost, using my 3rd roll.
Here's to Isaac Newton and the many mistakes he made before he got his theories right! Reality check, I am now comparing myself to Isaac Newton. This is what happens when I lack sleep.